GreasyGuide: Charlotte

Gary “G-Man” Toms: Born In The NC, now Reppin’ In The NYC

Can someone tell me what the hell is going on with Hillary Clinton’s campaign advisers? The G-man has remained relatively quiet up until now because I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt and allow them time to get their shit together. I let them slide when “Bad Boy Bill” nearly torpedoed her candidacy with his controversial statements in South Carolina. I let them slide when poor Hillary had to “borrow” $5 million of her own money to keep the campaign afloat until the Ohio, Rhode Island, Texas and Vermont primaries. I let them slide when news agencies were reporting that key advisers were fleeing the Clinton camp like rats on the Titanic. I let them slide when reports of political in-fighting amongst staffers surfaced. Just when I thought the craziness in the asylum couldn’t get any worse, Clinton supporter Geraldine Ferraro opens her fat pie-whole and proclaims Barack Obama’s wouldn’t be enjoying this unprecedented surge in popularity and appeal with voters…..if he wasn’t black.

Hillary, listen to The G-man. You need to start cutting some of these fools lose, and you can start with all the little punks who were telling the media that the morale of the campaign sucks and how people were going to bounce. Count your blessings for those who did bolt. You don’t need anyone that is not willing to fight with you and for you until the bitter end. If “General G-man” was in charge of the campaign, I would’ve rounded them up, laced up a pair of steel-toed boots, played a game of “leather sole meets ass” and rejoiced as I sent them over the cliff! Get rid of the dead weight! Next, tell every member of your staff to keep their mouths shut when it comes to making statements about Obama. You need to focus solely on the issues, even if you come under attack from the Obama camp. Let Obama and his aides destroy themselves. Given what happened with Samantha Power, one of Obama’s most trusted advisers, you should be smart enough to realize that they are more than capable of hurting themselves. You just have to be willing to wait for them to do it and not force the issue. Don’t listen to those clown-ass advisers who tell you to attack Obama. If you do, your most staunch supporters will desert and resent you. Fight the “good fight” and kill all the negative crap!

Finally, roll up your sleeves and start whipping some ass when advisers act like a bunch of raucous and spoiled brats! Former First Lady or not, beat their asses like they had Monica Lewinsky masks on! I can hear them whining now. “Hillary, he took my voter log!” “Hillary, she took my milk money!” “Hillary, Bob said I had corns on my toes!” “Hillary, can you tell me who ‘Client 9’ is?” When they start that bullshit, shove all the reporters out of the room, lock the door, and you, Bill and Chelsea grab some baseball bats and get busy! You might have to grab Chelsea, though. She might have a flashback to when that reporter said you and Bill were “pimping her out”. She might beat someone nearly half to death!