From The G-Man: No Country For Dumb Movies
Jun 5th, 2008 by admin
The G-Man: Born In NC, Now Reppin’ In The NYC
You know, contrary to the views of my critics, The G-man is generally a very nice guy. I really am! I’m kind to dumb animals, which includes a few ex-girlfriends. I help frail, old women and men across dangerous intersections. I place money in the cups of blind people and pet their dogs. Hell, I even removed my favorite dartboard with President George W. Bush’s picture on it. I do all this to showcase a kinder, gentler and more compassionate G-man. However, every now and then someone or something forces me to transform like “The Incredible Hulk”, and I’m compelled to run to my laptop and write an article in effort to release the uncontainable fury and sarcasm that lurk within. Oh no! It’s starting again! Stand back! My eyes have turned blue and my enlarged muscles have caused my shirt and pant to rip. Why? I just watched “No Country for Old Men”!
I was jerked on so many levels by this film that it wasn’t funny. The first place I’ll start is with the title. I thought this movie was about John McCain’s 2008 bid for the White House! So, the Coen Brothers got me good. Those insensitive bastards! Next, there were all these ads, on television and in print, claiming that this movie was the most critically acclaimed in the history of cinema. This is where they reeled me in, again! It eventually went on to win “Best Picture”, “Best Director” and “Best Supporting Actor” honors at the 80th Academy Awards. Now, the jerking of The G-man was complete. I had to see the film that many regarded as, “a Coen Brothers classic.”
I was so thoroughly disappointed that I don’t know where to begin. I’m talking about a level of disappointment comparable to spending $20 on lottery tickets for a mega prize and realizing you don’t have one damn number drawn from the previous night; or taking the hottest girl in high school to the senior prom and not getting any afterwards; or taking a really good dump at a friend’s house and realizing the toilet handle is broken. That’s some disappointment for your ass!
While I was able to follow a good portion of the movie, the characters and the ending, that dumb-ass ending, simply ruined the film for me. I won’t give anything away because I know my G-fans may want to watch the movie in the future. What I will do is give you my assessment of the stars/characters, many of which still have me bewildered.
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